Christmas Tradition
Joanna: “I have a love / hate relationship with tradition. That’s what I realized when I was contemplating what to write about this topic. Now I know that we all have some traditions we love and some that we don’t have such fuzzy feelings about, however I’m talking about tradition in general.
When I think about Christmas traditions alone, I can place them in a few different categories. There are some that I’ve always loved and embrace to this day, and plan on passing them on to my children. One of those is “Wigilia” - a traditional Polish dinner that happens on Christmas Eve. Even though over the years we veered away from the ‘uber traditional’ 12 course meal, it’s still an evening of very specific meals and events that only happen once a year on that night. The dinner always has a formal and exceptional feel to it. I could compare it to a wedding day. As kids, we always anticipated it all year long (probably because it culminated in opening presents under the tree and eating all the traditional Christmas desserts).”
Kevin: “The holidays are an extremely special time for me and my family. It's a time where we all get together, get away from the fast pace of everyday life, and appreciate each other. My parents (especially my dad) have been a central part of instilling traditions into my brother and I: traditional foods, attending church, and outside of the pandemic, having family come to visit. These times are crucial, to unwind and clear your mind of the everyday hustle and bustle.”
Joanna: “Then, there are some that I never quite liked but as an adult, I recognize the value of them and want to include them in my family’s Christmas celebration. ‘Oplatek’ is what comes to mind here. You literally either love it or hate it. I kind of hated it my whole life because it requires vulnerability and eye to eye communication about our feelings, hopes, dreams and heartaches. By far my weakest suit. You’re probably wondering what is this ‘Oplatek?’ It’s basically heartfelt wishes, delivered one-one-one, before we sit down to eat. Yeah, when everyone is already starving (because traditionally you fast all day…), you have to walk up to each person attending the dinner and have a mini heart-to-heart with them expressing your hopes for their life next year, your gratitude for them, and any apologies you feel are needed. It’s uncomfortable. It’s awkward. It’s also challenging in a good way. It challenges and tests your character. It’s like boot camp in humanity. You’re starving? You can’t wait to sit down cause you’ve been moving in the kitchen all day and doing last minute cleaning? Good, now you just have to pour your heart and soul out and you can satisfy your basic needs. Go!
There’s also this category of traditions where I’d place ones that we followed religiously, but I never really understood why. Most of those I had no issues with until I had a family of my own and then, I began to evaluate. Examples? Here we go:
It is forbidden to consume any delicious food before Wigilia (The Christmas Eve Dinner) which starts around 4pm or 5pm (Mind you the smells of baking have been filling the house for about 2 days now)
Desserts are to be eaten only after dinner and traditionally after midnight mass… so if you don’t make it to midnight you’re eating your poppyseed roll ad cheesecake for breakfast. (We definitely abolished this tradition a long time ago… to a degree...)
The table MUST be covered with a white tablecloth (so you can see who made the biggest mess around their plate…)
You must dress up for dinner (so you can feel how your body swells up from all the eating. Now that I think about it, maybe it was supposed to prevent gluttony…)
I’m sure I (and you) could list a few more of those traditions. They sound silly, right? But if you try to break them, you better be prepared for repercussions.”
Kevin: “Why are these practices so strong? It's because every year, sometimes for generations, they've been repeated, and will continue on as such. All of those traditions, and whatever traditions or customs are practiced by any family or group of people, have been instilled and maintained through discipline.”
Joanna: “What I’m trying to say is: tradition is great and it serves great purpose. It shapes us, builds our character and keeps us tied to our roots. However, if it takes away from the holiday cheer, or forces us to do something that goes against our current belief, you have to evaluate if it’s really worth keeping. I don’t like following something blindly. Just like with everything in your life, think about the WHY and decide if it’s worth it.”
Kevin: “On that note, going forward into the holidays and the new year, let's treat every day like we've been waiting for it. After all, each day only comes once a year!”